ARE YOU SICK OF BEING UGLY?

Slogan Image

Dr. Michael James Oochie

Content Image

Hello, future surgeons! I'm Dr. Mike Oochie – Founder, Lead Surgeon, Visionary, Janitor Renowned across select corners of the internet for my bold, innovative, and unregulated approach to plastic surgery!
Now, before you ask: "But Dr. Oochie, where did you get your medical degree?" - let me just say this - a true artist doesn't need credentials. What i lack in formal education, I make up for in passion, confidence and a $39.99 scalpel set I bought off eBay.

Our unique (and trustworthy) courses

What is that you said? You still feel young?
00:00:00
The clock is ticking! Act before it's too late!

Frequently Asked Questions

Absolutely! Mostly. Look, the law is like the human face - open to interpretation. What we offer is educational material and surgical-adjacent supplies for personal use. We're technically not a 'medical institution', therefore not bound by these pesky "laws" and "regulations". Just remember - snitches get stitches. And in this case not for aesthetic reasons.

Safe is a strong word...let's just say - with proper lighting, a moderately steady hand and a good playlist, anything is possible! Also, each course includes gauze, antiseptic wipes and a short meditation recording to help you stay calm during stressful moments (like unexpected bleeding). So it's safe ENOUGH.

Yes! At least in spirit... Although none of our instructors are "technically licenced" in the traditional sense, each of them went through my "Course to teach courses" in the form of a shaky video filmed and edited by my step-cousin Doug.
You may also notice that all our instructors look incredibly alike - because greatness tends to repeat itself. Except for Gregory. We're try to avoid Gregory.

We pride ourselves on sourcing supplies from a diverse network of global partners, including online wholesalers, surplus medical auctions, and one guy named Darnell who operates in the back of out local bowling alley.
While some items may arrive unlabeled or loosely packaged, rest assured - they've all been wiped down thoroughly and blessed with a confident shrug.

!Honest! References

Review 1
"My facelift turned heads for sure—mostly because people can’t believe how perfectly unique my jawline is now. Sure, it’s unconventional, but who wants boring symmetry? I’m a fearless beauty innovator and everyone else is just too scared to admit it.”
Gloria D., 58
Review 2
"Since my Botox treatment, my expressions are so on point that strangers avoid eye contact out of fear. They’re intimidated by my flawless frozen face—obviously, they wish they had my confidence and style. I’m redefining beauty standards here.”
Emily R., 34
Review 3
"i thinnk it wnt rlly well!! colurs in my eye now r. brite and uniqe,, sumtimse i see sparklss or lik smok?? but dats norml i thin. ppl dnt lk @ me in storz but dats probly bc my gaze is SO intemidatinn now. dr ooochie is. genyus. 10/10 wood do it agan if i culd find the kit. lol "
Jerome L., 45
Review 4
"Sure, I can’t blink all the way anymore, but who needs that when you look this snatched? People literally stop in their tracks (sometimes to ask if I’m okay, which is so sweet). I’ve never felt more confident… or more tight. Highly recommend!"
Sarah M., ???